New Office Policy

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time
needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Copied from here

You Can Also read
Muslima.com

All MBs Can Buy Mercedes Now

Go ahead all MBs, please go and buy Mercedes cars for official use in your states. Buy 14 Mercedes cars if you want, RM3.4million? No problem. Don't worry, just go to our beloved PM for blessing. He will give you the green light. He will understand. Our DPM Najib, also will understand. And all our state leaders and ministers will support.

KUALA TERENGGANU: Mentri Besar Datuk Ahmad Said was in a jubilant mood Friday stressing that the Mercedes-Benz saga ended after the meeting with Prime
Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi on Thursday, indicating that he had
received the PM’s blessings to use the German-made vehicles as official cars.

Ahmad also met with Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak at
the same venue. "Yes, we (Abdullah and Najib) reached a consensus on the matter
during the meeting at Putra World Trade Centre (on Thursday). The matter has
been solved. I can't elaborate further," he said Friday after opening the Seri
Kandi's Annual General Meeting at his official residence here.

The Terengganu Government was criticised recently after it purchased 14 Mercedes
E200 Kompressors for RM3.43mil.

Ahmad said both leaders have told him that the matter is solved and should be laid to rest.

Asked whether the Mercedes Benz E200 Kompressor could be now regarded as official cars for state executive councillors and ex officio, Ahmad quipped ``Make your own presumption. I was told the matter has been solved."

Ahmad described his meeting with both Abdullah and Najib as cordial.

"I explained my rationale for switching the Proton Perdanas to Mercedes-Benz and they have accepted it.

"I told them that the state government has not spent extravagantly and the decision to procure the Mercedes was done after two years of evaluation," he said.

When reporters continued to pose questions whether the Mercedes would be used a official cars, Ahmad replied ``Wait and see. "Let me stress again that this matter is solved and I have also received support from other state leaders and ministers on my move (to replace the Proton Perdanas)."

Ahmad was seen beaming throughout the press conference and also welcomed the Anti-Corruption Agency (ACA) to investigate the purported high cost of maintaining the Proton Perdana V6 Executive.

The state owns 16 of these Proton Perdanas and the servicing cost had hit a whopping RM1.07mil over the last four years. Ahmad said ACA should carry out the probe diligently as he has no qualms assisting the agency.

"I also urge them (the ACA) to probe the high service charges by Spanco," he said.

Spanco Sdn Bhd is the service agent engaged by the Federal Government to maintain the fleet of Proton Perdanas.

Ahmad said the state government's move should not be seen as giving preference to Mercedes and deserting the national car. "Proton should take it constructively to enhance their quality. Even my previous official car as an exco had no seatbelt buckle and had inferior safety features," he added.

Related Post
Selangor exco may get Camry
Dont buy Perdana buy Mercedes

Selangor exco may get Toyota Camry

Setuju setuju...... Toyota Camry is a good choice. I am driving Toyota Camry, and I can agree with State executive councillor for Local Government, Studies and Research Ronnie Liu, that Toyota Camry is a perfect choice. The price is reasonable, very comfy, low maintance, smooth drive and quite. Never break down! And no gear box problem.

It is definately better choice than Proton Perdana. And much cheaper than Mercedes. There no reason not to use Camry as the official cars.

SHAH ALAM: The Selangor Government is now hinting that it may choose the Toyota Camry as the official cars for its state executive councillors.

State executive councillor for Local Government, Studies and Research Ronnie Liu said the choice was appropriate as the price of the car was reasonable and
maintenance cost not high.

“Personally, I feel the Toyota Camry is the best choice and have made the suggestion to the Mentri Besar (Tan Sri Abdul Khalid Ibrahim).

“However, he has not made a decision. But I feel there won’t be any objection as the Toyota Camry is much cheaper than the Mercedes,” he told reporters here yesterday. – Bernama

Related Blog
Dont Buy Proton Perdana

Funny Picture

Study the picture carefully......

Are you laughing now? Ha ha ha...

When Malaysians Unite, Everyone Also Benefit

Shafie: When Malays unite, non-Malays also benefit-Read here

Orang Cina: When Malaysians Unite, Everyone Also Benefit. True or not?

Don't Buy Proton Perdana

Here are a few reason not to buy Proton Perdana Cars:

1. High cost of maintenance.

2. Faulty gear box

3. It cost RM50 000 to undergo major repairs, twice in 36 months

4. It has low second hand car value

5. Mercedes are better!

So... please, do not buy Proton Perdana, buy Mercedes. It will save you a lot of money in the long run.

Read here

MB on why Terengganu bought Mercedes cars

KUALA TERENGGANU: The state government has defended the purchase of 14 Mercedes E200 Kompressor cars at RM3.43mil for the use of its state executive councillors and senior officials.

Mentri Besar Datuk Ahmad Said said the state government had planned to purchase the cars for a long time now to replace its Proton Perdana V6 Executive fleet in a move to cut cost.

“Please understand that the Proton Perdanas go through continuous long-distance journeys. It’s costing us a lot of money due to high cost of maintenance.

“We are not saying that the national car is not good but in reality we are coughing up more money for maintaining the Proton Perdanas, particularly the gear boxes,” he said.

Ahmad cited the example of the Proton Perdana of state Commerce, Industry and Environment committee chairman Toh Chin Yaw, which has twice undergone expensive repairs costing RM50,000 within 36 months.

“In the long run, Mercedes cars are cheaper to maintain and could also save us fuel costs.

“This is the state’s long-term plan – we are farsighted. The cars could also fetch a high market price, when sold as second-hand cars.

“We studied all angles before deciding to buy the Mercedes E200 cars,” he added.

Ahmad also denied that the oil royalty money was used to buy the cars.

“In the first place we have yet to receive the oil royalties from the Federal Government.

“The funds to procure the cars were from our own coffers and has nothing to do with the oil royalties,” he said.

Funniest Youtube Ever

This guy is fanstastic in his drawing skill. He started by drawing, what it looks like an obsence drawing, but end up with nice cartoons. Enjoy.

What is marketing?

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: ' I am very rich. Marry me! ' - That's Direct Marketing'

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: ' He's very rich. 'Marry him.' -That's Advertising'

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: ' Hi, I'm very rich. 'Marry me - That's Telemarketing'

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:'By the way, I'm rich. Will you 'Marry Me?' - That's Public Relations'

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:'You are very rich! 'Can you marry ! Me?' - That's Brand Recognition'

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - ' That's Customer Feedback '

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' And she introduces you to her husband. - 'That's demand and supply gap'

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him - 'That's competition eating into your market share'

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: 'I'm rich, Marry me!' your wife arrives. - ' That's restriction for entering new markets '

Every Indian must see this Video

The title is not given by me, ok!? It on you tube. What does it mean? You tell me....

Spoiler

Funny pictures. Don't you hate it when you are trying to take some good photos, someone or something spoiled it for you. But if it doesn't happen to you, it is kind of funny. Look at the photos. Tell me which one you like the most.

And the last one....
My favourite. :)

Thats Not Nice

I personally do not care what happen to PI Bala, but it pains my heart when I see these two dogs living in deplorable conditions.

I have two dogs at home and I know they have feeling like us. They feel happy, sad, excited, down etc. I know they miss me when I go outstation.

I pity the two Rottweilers. They must be feeling confuse and tired, not knowing what happen to their owner.

I hope they will be ok.

Read NST

Four Witnesses

Anwar lodges report with FT religious dept against Saiful

KUALA LUMPUR: PKR adviser Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim on Wednesday lodged a report with the Federal Territory religious department against Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan for falsely accusing him of fornication.

This was in response to Saiful's police report, lodged on June 28, alleging Anwar had sodomised him at a condominium in Damansara.

Under Islamic Syariah Law, if Saiful fails to produce four witnesses to the alleged sodomy he can be found guilty and fined RM5,000 or jailed not more than three years, or both.

The Star

Ha ha ha, Saiful is in big trouble! He needs 4 witnesses to prove that he actually was sodomised by Anwar. Aiyoooo! This Anwar is very smart lah. How this Saiful going to produce four witnesses. One also very susah. Saiful better get his RM5 000 ready for the fine.

Doing Karate With Your Boobs

America's Got Talent - Busty Heart Uncensored

You got to watch this video!